Let’s step back, let them grow

Image: Pixabay.
By Renu Shenoy
By Renu Shenoy

Why are kids always associated with school and studies? It’s an immature line of thought, it should not be


“Which class is your daughter studying? How is she in studies? How is she coping up with homework and new languages?”

“Is she able to pick Arabic?  Why are they even teaching Arabic in an Indian school? Is she going for tuitions?”

These are the questions I usually face when I meet a new mum. Hardly anyone has asked me” What are her hobbies? Does she draw or colour, how is she with her little brother, do they fight?? Or at least “Is she a picky eater?”

This is very disturbing to even think why are kids always associated with school and studies? Is that their sole purpose of living?

There is always a set of questions and advices we all mothers have to face during this phase of life.  Why are you doing it this way? Why not that way? Why is your kid behaving like this, do this, do that…I believe motherhood doesn’t have any script or rather I would say a job description. It just happens and takes it the way you like it. Some master it where as some fail miserably.

I am a mother of seven year old “lady’ and three year old ‘gentleman’, needless to say both are naughty ones. My daughter is a chatter box, who can talk nonstop for hours and if she’s quiet I need to worry. Once she’s back from school, it’s like an ‘Attack’ over me about what had happened from the time she entered the school bus till she reached home.

Each child is an individual, let’s accept it and appreciate, recognise their identity…

I know all her classmates and friends so I also ask her “Was anyone absent today, what happened to the kid? Were you naughty in class today, did Mam scold anyone, did you meet your old friends today? What did Mam teach, any homework for the day? “This way I feel I could connect more with her rather than just asking about homework which will already be mentioned in her diary.

Image: Pixabay.
Image: Pixabay.

Then it’s the time for playing with her brother, they fight, they laugh, they cry, scream, they wrestle oh yes, they do that too… I just remind her in between that she has some homework to do. It’s completely her wish when and how to do. I can only remind and help her. I don’t know if I am doing it the right way or no, but I do it this way. Each mother has her own way to deal with the kids.

The same follows for the kids as well, they have their own way of understanding, likes and dislikes. Let’s respect it.

Once they have the understanding that they learn for them and not for the mother, our job is half done. Instead of saying you have exams tomorrow , go and learn let’s try it this way, i hope you know that exams are here,  I am sure you will revise the portions after you play for a while and are fresh. I am sure it works. Give them the space to think and act. Let’s not put the scar of competition in their little minds. As we don’t like being compared to anyone else, they also don’t like it that way. Let’s accept it.

Allow them to take part in small decisions about themselves, let’s just help them in that. We need to support them to grow up as responsible adults and not as robots. I humbly repeat, this is just my way of doing it, let’s step back and let them grow enjoying the childhood in every way they like.

Each child is an individual, let’s accept it and appreciate, recognise their identity…

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